Burger Salon
The Bathroom at Salvatore’s Pizza the Morning After a Night of Heavy Drinking 8.5/10I didn’t have enough to drink last night to get some hardcore puking done on the spot or to still be drunk the next morning, but overall I was pretty gone last night, so it wasn’t a huge surprise when I woke up and was completely hung over. I kept trying to get back to sleep but my headache and weird-feeling stomach, coupled with my housemate Brian continually coming in to see if I was awake yet, finally convinced me that it was not to be.I hung out looking miserable for about a half hour, sometimes feeling the urge to puke, then attempting to and failing, knowing I should eat something but absolutely not wanting to. Brian came by again and suggested that we visit Salvatore’s, which is about two miles from our house and makes some pretty decent pizza. For these reasons, I not only agreed to go, but decided to drive. The car ride went okay; I didn’t feel very good and my stomach had begun to churn, and the interior of my car has started to smell like gas, but I was completely aware of what I was doing and steered to Salvatore’s successfully. I’d give the ride there about a 7/10, which is okay, considering.Anyway, we walked into Salvatore’s and started surveying the pizza. At this point a wave of nausea washed over me, and I felt like this was the Real Deal. Without a word I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I then spent about two minutes puking somewhat violently, but did not disregard my surroundings: the bathroom was not beautiful, with white tile walls and a different sort of tile for the floor which looked to be falling apart a little. For this I subtract .5 points. However, it was clean, and from my spot hunched over the toilet, I did not feel like I was risking my health any further than I had been by drinking too much wine (in retrospect, 0.5/10) while watching Gladiator (8/10).The bathroom gets points for location, as it’s right near the main dining area without dominating the room, set at the beginning of a hallway that is not frequently used otherwise- the restaurant employees have a different way to get between the kitchen and the counter, so I suspect that there are supply closets back there. No big deal. I had a thoroughly “pleasant” puking experience, and I’m only subtracting the one as-yet-unaccounted for point because of this creepy-looking dude sitting at the counter about five feet away from the bathroom. When I was done and exited, he didn’t seem to have heard the racket I’d just made, but I did not like what I had done. I suppose that’s not the bathroom’s fault, since, indeed, nothing happened but this review is at least partially about the experience, and that was somewhat uncomfortable.Anyway, special thanks to Salvatore’s for allowing me to do this, or at least not noticing exactly what was going on if that’s what happened. Next time I’m in the area with a big hangover and some cash I’ll swing by. -Guest Writer, Jack Schoonover “of” Daniel’s “alma mater”, Bard College (DS: 3/10) in the state of New York (DS: 2.7/10)

The Bathroom at Salvatore’s Pizza the Morning After a Night of Heavy Drinking

8.5/10

I didn’t have enough to drink last night to get some hardcore puking done on the spot or to still be drunk the next morning, but overall I was pretty gone last night, so it wasn’t a huge surprise when I woke up and was completely hung over. I kept trying to get back to sleep but my headache and weird-feeling stomach, coupled with my housemate Brian continually coming in to see if I was awake yet, finally convinced me that it was not to be.

I hung out looking miserable for about a half hour, sometimes feeling the urge to puke, then attempting to and failing, knowing I should eat something but absolutely not wanting to. Brian came by again and suggested that we visit Salvatore’s, which is about two miles from our house and makes some pretty decent pizza. For these reasons, I not only agreed to go, but decided to drive. The car ride went okay; I didn’t feel very good and my stomach had begun to churn, and the interior of my car has started to smell like gas, but I was completely aware of what I was doing and steered to Salvatore’s successfully. I’d give the ride there about a 7/10, which is okay, considering.

Anyway, we walked into Salvatore’s and started surveying the pizza. At this point a wave of nausea washed over me, and I felt like this was the Real Deal. Without a word I walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I then spent about two minutes puking somewhat violently, but did not disregard my surroundings: the bathroom was not beautiful, with white tile walls and a different sort of tile for the floor which looked to be falling apart a little. For this I subtract .5 points. However, it was clean, and from my spot hunched over the toilet, I did not feel like I was risking my health any further than I had been by drinking too much wine (in retrospect, 0.5/10) while watching Gladiator (8/10).

The bathroom gets points for location, as it’s right near the main dining area without dominating the room, set at the beginning of a hallway that is not frequently used otherwise- the restaurant employees have a different way to get between the kitchen and the counter, so I suspect that there are supply closets back there. No big deal. I had a thoroughly “pleasant” puking experience, and I’m only subtracting the one as-yet-unaccounted for point because of this creepy-looking dude sitting at the counter about five feet away from the bathroom. When I was done and exited, he didn’t seem to have heard the racket I’d just made, but I did not like what I had done. I suppose that’s not the bathroom’s fault, since, indeed, nothing happened but this review is at least partially about the experience, and that was somewhat uncomfortable.

Anyway, special thanks to Salvatore’s for allowing me to do this, or at least not noticing exactly what was going on if that’s what happened. Next time I’m in the area with a big hangover and some cash I’ll swing by.

-Guest Writer, Jack Schoonover “of” Daniel’s “alma mater”, Bard College (DS: 3/10) in the state of New York (DS: 2.7/10)

Posted 2 years ago